Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Interesting: How you know you're a Republican

This
is not my creation, I found it in a diary at kos.
It was distributed by e-mail so I assume it is in the public domain. Pretty darn good snark.


*Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals, Arabs, and Hillary Clinton.

*Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney and Rumsfeld did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.

*Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

*The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

*A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

*The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

*If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

*A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle and antagonize our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

*Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

*HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

*Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

*A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

*Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

*The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's and Dick Cheney's driving records are none of our business.

*Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

*Supporting "Executive Privilege" is imperative for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born in perpetuity.

*What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

*There's nothing wrong with supporting drunken hunters who shoot their friends and blaming the friends for looking too much like quail.

and don't forget to drink your kool-aide, mmmm, delicious red kool-aide.

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